Trauma bonding · also called betrayal bond
why do I keep going back to him
A trauma bond is an attachment formed through cycles of harm followed by relief. The intermittent reward pattern is the same one that makes gambling compulsive, which is why leaving can feel physically unbearable even when you know the relationship is damaging you.
What to do about it
Track the cycle in writing for two weeks. Seeing the pattern on paper breaks its spell faster than willpower does.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
Keep The Three$6.99
Betrayal Math$6.99
What You Leave$6.99
The Connection Blueprint$6.99
Marriage Is Job$6.99
Stop Lying Conflict$6.99
Friendship At Forty$6.99
The Loneliness Problem$6.99Part of the Connection series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- why do I keep going back to him
- I know he is bad for me but I cannot leave
- why does leaving feel like withdrawal
- addicted to someone who hurts me
- the good days keep me stuck
- I miss someone who treated me badly
- why is it so hard to leave a toxic relationship
- trauma bond or love
- hot and cold relationship why
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.