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The Trying Loop · also called perpetual attempt

why does saying I am working on it feel safer than finishing

The trying loop is staying indefinitely in "I’m trying to quit" or "I’m working on it," where the ongoing attempt becomes a comfortable identity that never has to resolve into either quitting or admitting you will not. It gets the sympathy of someone in progress without ever risking the verdict of a final result.

Trying does not have an end date. That is the whole appeal of it.

What to do about it

Pick a date within the next seven days and declare it the day the trying ends — either it is done, or you admit out loud that you have stopped trying.

Books that work on this

Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.

Part of the Purpose series.

How people say it

Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.

  • I have been trying to quit this for over a year
  • why does saying I am working on it feel safer than finishing
  • I am always in the process and never at the result
  • I have said I am quitting so many times it stopped meaning anything
  • trying has become the whole habit
  • I get credit for effort I never actually convert into a result
  • why do I stay in the attempt forever instead of just deciding
  • I have been about to stop for months

Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.

About the author

Brian Spiker has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — a real service business with real customers, real Google reviews, and 13 years of work most self-help authors will never do.

He writes the way operators talk: brutal, funny, and built from work that actually has to get done. Verify everything at spikercarpetandtilecare.com.