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Self-sabotage

why do I ruin things when they are going well

Self-sabotage is behaviour that undermines a goal you consciously hold. It is usually protective rather than irrational: the sabotage prevents an outcome some part of you finds threatening, such as visibility, responsibility, or having no excuse left.

What to do about it

Ask what success would cost you. The answer is almost always what the sabotage is protecting.

How people say it

Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.

  • why do I ruin things when they are going well
  • I quit right before it works
  • I always mess it up myself
  • afraid of my own success
  • why do I procrastinate on things I want
  • I push away good things
  • I get close then blow it up
  • why do I self destruct

Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.

About the author

Brian Spiker has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — a real service business with real customers, real Google reviews, and 13 years of work most self-help authors will never do.

He writes the way operators talk: brutal, funny, and built from work that actually has to get done. Verify everything at spikercarpetandtilecare.com.