Public Mask · also called Jekyll-and-Hyde persona
why does my family act completely different in front of guests
A person who is warm, funny, or generous in front of others while being cold, dismissive, or cruel behind closed doors — which makes the private version sound unbelievable to anyone who has only ever met the performance, and turns your accurate account of them into the thing that looks exaggerated.
The version of them that everyone loves has never once been alone in a room with you.
What to do about it
Stop trying to get outsiders to see the private version. Judge the relationship by what happens when the door is closed, not by what happens at the table.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
Burn The Mask$6.99
Build The Family$6.99
The Connection Blueprint$6.99
Marriage Is Job$6.99
Stop Lying Conflict$6.99
Friendship At Forty$6.99
The Loneliness Problem$6.99
Guard The Gate$6.99Part of the Connection series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- everyone thinks she’s so sweet but she’s cruel at home
- nobody believes me because he’s so charming in public
- why does my family act completely different in front of guests
- how do I explain someone who’s nice to everyone but me
- people don’t believe what he’s like once the door closes
- she’s a completely different person when we’re alone
- why does no one believe how they actually treat me
- my family looks perfect from the outside
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.