Golden Child Standard · also called sibling scoreboard
why does my mom always compare me to my sister
A family dynamic in which one sibling is held up, accurately or not, as the standard of achievement, obedience, or good behaviour, and used as the yardstick you are measured against and always found short of — regardless of what you actually accomplish or how much you change.
You were never actually losing a competition. You were cast as the loser before it started.
What to do about it
Write down one thing you did well this month without comparing it to your sibling, and say it out loud before anyone else gets the chance to compare it for you.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
Standards Over GoalsComing soon
The Standard LiftedComing soon
Hard Standards Held$6.99
The Output Standard$6.99
Standard As Identity$6.99
Standards Outlive Goals$6.99
The Final Standard$6.99
The Elite BlueprintComing soonPart of the Elite series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- why does my mom always compare me to my sister
- I never measure up to my brother in my parents’ eyes
- my sibling can do no wrong and I can do nothing right
- why do I feel like the disappointing child
- my parents praise my sibling and criticise me for the same thing
- competing with my sibling for my parents’ approval my whole life
- why do family gatherings turn into a comparison contest
- I was raised to feel like the backup child
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.