Fantasy Bond · also called chasing someone’s potential
why do I stay for the potential instead of the reality
An attachment to who someone could become, or once appeared to be, rather than to the person actually in front of you — built from a handful of good moments replayed as proof, while the daily pattern of disappointment gets quietly filed away as the exception.
You’re not in a relationship with them. You’re in a relationship with a memory wearing their face.
What to do about it
List what the person has actually done over the last month, not what you believe they’re capable of, and make your next decision from that list alone.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
The Mind Reset Blueprint$6.99
Stop Overthinking Now$6.99
The Voice Is LyingComing soon
Clear The StaticComing soon
The Two AM SpiralComing soon
Kill The LoopComing soon
Rewire The StoryComing soon
The Phone HostageComing soonPart of the Mind Reset series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- I’m in love with who he could be, not who he actually is
- I keep hoping they’ll go back to how they were at the start
- why do I stay for the potential instead of the reality
- I remember the good version of them more than the real one
- I think I can bring back the person I first met
- why do I make excuses based on what they’re capable of
- I’m attached to an idea of them, not the actual person
- how do I stop waiting for someone to become who I thought they were
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.