Family Scapegoat Role · also called identified problem child
why am I always the problem in my family
The fixed role in a family system where one member absorbs the blame for whatever goes wrong, regardless of who actually caused it, because their complaints or their difference threatens a version of the family the rest have agreed to protect. The role stays assigned no matter how the person behaves.
The day you stop accepting the blame is the day the family has to explain the mess without you.
What to do about it
Stop re-arguing the specific accusation and track the pattern instead — write down every unrelated problem pinned on you over one month.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
The Loneliness Problem$6.99
Build The Family$6.99
The Connection Blueprint$6.99
Marriage Is Job$6.99
Stop Lying Conflict$6.99
Friendship At Forty$6.99
Guard The Gate$6.99
Direct Is Kinder$6.99Part of the Connection series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- why am I always the problem in my family
- I get blamed for things I didn’t even do
- everyone in my family agrees I’m the difficult one
- why does my family need someone to blame
- I’m the one who gets called dramatic no matter what happens
- family always sides against me at every gathering
- why do I take the blame for everyone else’s issues
- I’m treated like the black sheep for pointing things out
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.