Emotional inventory management · also called over-functioning in shallow relationships
why do I have so many acquaintances and no real friends
Emotional inventory management is spending real attention and energy managing the feelings of people who take up space in your life without actually being close to you — the acquaintance who guilt-trips, the group chat that never says anything, the relative who only calls with a request. It crowds out the small number of relationships that would actually catch you.
You have a hundred and fifty people in your phone and three of them would bail you out of jail. You know which three. You have not called them in a month.
What to do about it
Name the three people who would bail you out of jail. Notice how long it has been since you called any of them, and call one today.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
Build Real Friendships$6.99
The Real Network$6.99
No Forever Friends$6.99
The Adult Relationship$6.99
The Connection Blueprint$6.99
Marriage Is Job$6.99
Stop Lying Conflict$6.99
Friendship At Forty$6.99Part of the Connection series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- I am close to nobody but exhausted by everyone
- why do I have so many acquaintances and no real friends
- I manage everyone else’s feelings and nobody manages mine
- I feel guilty for not calling people I do not even like
- how do I stop being everyone’s emotional support with nothing left for myself
- I keep the wrong people close and take the right ones for granted
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.