Boundary · also called limit
how to stop being a doormat
A boundary is a rule about your own behaviour, not a demand on someone else. "I leave at six" is a boundary. "Stop scheduling meetings at six" is a request. The distinction matters because only one of the two is enforceable by you alone.
What to do about it
Rewrite each of your boundaries as something you will do, not something they must stop.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
Walk Toward Conflict$6.99
The Connection Blueprint$6.99
Marriage Is Job$6.99
Stop Lying Conflict$6.99
Friendship At Forty$6.99
The Loneliness Problem$6.99
Guard The Gate$6.99
Direct Is Kinder$6.99Part of the Connection series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- people walk all over me
- I cannot say no
- I feel guilty saying no
- how to stop being a doormat
- I let people take advantage of me
- saying no without being rude
- I always put everyone else first
- how do I stop over-committing
- I resent people for things I agreed to
- protecting my time from family
- why do I apologise for having limits
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.