Attachment style · also called anxious · avoidant · secure
why do I get clingy
Attachment style is the pattern you default to when closeness is at stake, learned early and revised through experience. Anxious pursues under threat, avoidant withdraws, and the pairing of the two produces the chase-and-retreat cycle most people mistake for chemistry.
What to do about it
Notice which direction you move when things get tense. That direction is the pattern, not the person.
Books that work on this
Each is a 90-day programme. Start with the first — later books assume the work in the earlier ones.
The Connection Blueprint$6.99
Marriage Is Job$6.99
Stop Lying Conflict$6.99
Friendship At Forty$6.99
The Loneliness Problem$6.99
Guard The Gate$6.99
Direct Is Kinder$6.99
Stop Avoiding Truth$6.99Part of the Connection series.
How people say it
Nobody looks this up by its clinical name. These are the ways it actually gets said.
- why do I get clingy
- I push people away when they get close
- anxious attachment
- avoidant partner
- why do I chase unavailable people
- he pulls away when I get closer
- what is my attachment style
- secure relationships feel boring
Written by Brian Spiker, who has run Spiker Carpet and Tile Care since 2013 — the receipts. More terms in the encyclopedia.